"Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
"Always look on the bright side of life?"
"No, 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.'"

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Thank Yous and Explainations

First off, thank you to everyone for support, even when I can't seem to muster support myself.

Second, DH and I are going through a rough patch. Not personally, as in relationship, just life seems to be chucking more lemons than blessing in the last 3-4 months.

I have been unhappy in my job for a long time and I finally got up the courage to do something about it and it has blown up in my face.

I found out that 2 of my office mates have been loose-lipping to our boss. Not in a direct, "Hey, um, Tammy is looking for a new job" but just as bad. Things like, "Ask Tammy(when pressed by psycho boss)." "I am not choosing sides." "Tammy had an interview she cancelled." "Tammy thinks {office girl} was hired to replace her at a cheaper rate." Basically, railroading me and painting me into a corner and forcing me to be reactive instead of being proactive.

As of yesterday, I had to tell my boss that, yes, I am looking for another job. I was able to explain that I needed more benefits and that I know if I were to, God forbid, get ill a replacement would be sought. I also need a 401K plan and a boss that doesn't need to know everything about my life and then some.

I was told that I am being mean to people because I can't manage my personal problems (aka. I have been quiet around the office and not open about personal issues) and that I am lying to my boss (aka. not telling her I was looking for a job) and that she would really hate to have to fire me. I am also not being very friendly (aka. not talking at a level where she can hear my every word.) and that I need to stop being a b!tch (aka. kiss her @ss).

So, my work environment has just gone from bad to worse and I really really am struggling to keep it together. I come in to work and I have a stone in my stomach the size of Ma.nha.tan and want to cry at any given moment. I cannot trust anyone in the office and I have no one to vent to when my boss is particularly bad. Being a social person, this is crushing and killing my spirit.

So, as I sit here trying not to sob uncontrollably, I am not sure where to turn or where I am supposed to go from this point. If I don't get that job, I am not sure how much more I can take of working in a fish bowl.


Ally said...

I'm sorry, Tammy. I wish I had better words or a magic wand to fix it for you. I will keep my fingers crossed that things turn in a more positive direction for you and that you can find a peaceful place in your heart while waiting for some calm.

Jen said...

What BS. I can't believe your boss says that you have to tell them if you are looking for a job. That is absolutely not true. I hope you get something soon Tam, because you need to get the hell out of there.

Jewels said...

Aww man, I hope you can get out of there soon and find a place where you can breath.
You deserve so much happiness and it does feel like life just keep's throwing balls of shit. What do you do when cleaning it up just isn't enough? I have no answers. But I'm thinking about you.
I ~puffy heart~ you.

nancy said...

That just fucking sucks. No way around it. Here's to finding another job pronto so you an leave that stupid bullshit drama behind you, where it belongs.

Jenette said...

Baby Girl,
I'm sorry I've been out of action for a week, and haven't been able to read the blog. We are thinking about coming up to the area this weekend, wanna get together? Maybe we could go pamper ourselves some how. I love you.

InfertileMadWoman said...

I really hope that things work out the way you want them to... HUGS!!!

Over from L&F


jenn said...

[[[hugs]]] & more [[[hugs]]]. I know how it feels to feel stuck in a horrible job. I hope you get your good news soon. (and just let me at your coworker... aarrggh!)

Marie said...

Wow our lives a certainly similar huh? I have about the same work troubles as well except the only other employee is married to the boss :0.

Thank you for your comment and support is means so very much. Not many people "get" this and it is nice to have someone that does.

Anonymous said...

Ouch. Sounds like it's time to head for the hills. :(

dmarie said...

Hi--I saw a comment you made on another blog. My husband is on Arimidex too, but it hasn't helped his SA results at all. At first it helped the low T, but now it seems it's back down again. Our urologist didn't want him on Clomid b/c he didn't think it would help. I'm really interested in you opinion and results since your husband is on both and it's helped. Do you mind emailing me? dmarie@ureach.com or leave me your email on my blog. Thanks!

Marie said...

So you mean to tell me that MY husband will take clomid? He will bloat, have night sweats and have UNCONTROLABLE moodswings??? I think I might see a sliver of a silver lining in this heh heh.

Smiling said...

I am so sorry.. I had a bad situation with a woman I now call 'evil teacher lady' who treated her student like crap. It all blew up in my face when I took it to the boss. Oh how that sucks.

I hope things change soon. there are few things sweeter then getting in your car and leaving the parking lot for the last time. I still remember the song that was playing when I left my horrid job.

Hope said...

Ugh...Scott is sorta looking and he just got called out for it too...kinda was a relief for him, sorry your job is rough right now...BIG OLE CAROLINA HUGS!