Can You Hear Me Now?

I am sitting here trying to decide if I need to call the OB/GYN and get myself kick started. I am bloated and AF seems to want to come but she is in hiding and screwing with my psyche. A friend kind of asked me if the long cycles bother me and I have to admit, that 3 and 4 month cycles are the one upside to PCOS. I don't have the 'mess' to deal with and I kind of like it.

Did I seriously just find a good thing about PCOS? Wow, I really am just here... lol.

Anywho... I am trying to come to grips with the fact that a girl in one of my begining of the week 'meetings' is very pregnant. Her pregnancy isn't the part that is buggin' me, though.

Umm... really, it isn't that bad... Stop laughing, I am telling the truth.


I feel, as one of the past teachers in the young adult/teen classes, I should have been able to stop it. I could tell you how many times I would remind those kids to think in the long term not the here and now.

Children are for life. You don't get to give them back if you don't like it. You don't get a do over when you realize that life as you know it is no longer.

But I am fighting a culture that I didn't grow up in. Pregnancy out of marriage was shameful, not celebrated. It wasn't a goal, but a stigma. How do I fight that? How can I expect more of them than their families and peers?

I know that my feeling of failure with them is irrational, they are adults, they have minds of their own. Yet, the feeling is there, irrational or not.

I suppose I should just stick with my original goal when I taught about abstinance and choices; if I was able to stop at least one person from having sex (while in high school), I did my job. Well, I think I might have hit that goal, but the school year isn't over.

*Sigh*