"Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
"Always look on the bright side of life?"
"No, 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.'"

Monday, January 5, 2009

In Honor of DH's Grandmother

I hope that DH doesn’t get too upset that I am sharing this story but it touched me in so many ways when I heard it.

In my family, we are surrounded by adoption. Big Dad, Little Dad (and his brothers) and FIL are all adopted. DH has a cousin who adopted. Then there is me. Yep… I am the closest person to me that knows the ups and downs.

This is about FILs mother. She longed to have a little girl to complete her family. She and G-pa signed up at an unwed mothers home and patiently waited… for 12 years.

Every spring, G-ma would get out the baby clothes, for a baby girl of course, and she washed them, pressed them and put them in their place in the dresser. She did this every year until they got the call; we have a baby girl for you.

I can only imagine this ritual done every year slowing tearing away at G-ma’s heart, her faith, and her joy. Yet if it did, she did suffered in silence. Inwardly, she was Hannah. Every spring she threw herself on the temple stairs and wailed for God to give her a girl. No one knew to see on the outside. She was reserved by nature, but I know her pain.

Her temple was simulated through the spring routine. She may not have realized this in her mind, but I see it in her actions. God blessed her with her little girl in his time; just as Samuel was given to Hannah.

I know now that I am willing to be a parent to a child, biological or not. I think that God has brought me to my knees to show me that the path of those around me can be the path I need to take.

So now, I move on to the next stage in my journey to mommy and pray that God will send me a basket among the reeds filled with the sounds of a child that is meant for both DH and myself. And though I didn’t know G-ma in her days of youth, only in her latter days, I wish I could tell her, “I understand and admire you more just for being you.”


nancy said...

I hope your wishes come true. ~hugs~

jenn said...

Wow. I can't imagine 12 years. But I couldn't imagine 9 years of trying like my grandmother did either. It really speaks to you- the strength of these stoic & wonderful women- doesn't it?

(Always thinking & hoping for the best for you)

Jen said...

When you finally reach the end of a journey it seems like things fall into place so perfectly that it seems as if it were always meant to be. But the patience needed to get there...well that's easier said than done, as you obviously know. What an inspiring story.

Jewels said...

Thats a great story.