"Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
"Always look on the bright side of life?"
"No, 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.'"

Friday, June 15, 2007

Big Beautiful Woman - Not to everyone (reader beware).

I realize that, as humans’, emotions often rule our lives, but I truly believe that is what separates us from the lower species. The following is full of emotion so reader beware.

Saying that, I have a major vent that has been bugging me for weeks and I can no longer hold it in.

We, as a society, know that discrimination towards others is wrong, vile and should not be tolerated. When news stories are read, seen, or told regarding someone’s experience with discrimination, reactions are strong and passionate… Unless you’re fat

Fat can be teased and joked about. Fat can be degraded with no repercussions. Fat can be held against you and no one says a word. Fat can be tormented and judged and it is accepted, for Fat deserves no rights, liberties or fairness.

Fat is brought on by lack of self-control. Fat is because you are slothful, you are a glutton, you let yourself go. Fat should not be allowed to have the same rights as average because it is our own fault. We caused it therefore we live with the results. Conform or be shunned.

This is CRAP! I am human. I have feelings. I am smart, funny, charming, loving, beautiful and deserving of respect. I honor my parents, I am kind to my fellow humans, I love children, animals, and I treat everyone the way I hope to be treated.

I do not deserve the looks, the STARES, the snide remarks, the judgment, the angry outbursts, the discrimination, the degrading saying, and the horribly wrong stereotypes. I am NOT lazy, I did not ask to be fat, and I did not get this way because I don’t care about myself. I did not choose to be fat any more than I chose to be white.

"Like white on rice" is an acceptable saying. "Like a fat kid loves cake.” "Does a black person love chicken and watermelon?" Yes, I went there. People would riot if it was said where others could hear it, right? So why is the "fat" saying acceptable? Why is it allowed? Why is it left alone?

Should I not be allowed to have a child because I am fat? Does it make me a bad person? Does it mean that I cannot care for another human being because I don’t care for myself? NO! Should I just check myself into a “Fat Farm” so I am not in the view of society? NO! Should I be told that if my child is chubby, I am abusing him? HELL NO!

Yes, some stereotypes do come from a tread of truth for SOME, but not all. Get off your high horse and open your eyes. Stop shoving anorexic looking people in our faces and telling us they are ideal, perfect, and what we should be. I don’t want to look like that. I don’t want to feel like if I eat less than a grape at a meal setting, I am cow. Stop trying to sit me at a table in a restaurant instead of a booth because you think my fat butt can’t fit. If I ask for a table fine, but to NOT assume I am so large you must make that choice for me!

I thought I was feeling over-sensitive, but I am not. I am just fed up with the lack of consideration used towards heavy-set people. Yeah, I’m fat, but so what? You don’t have to be me, why do you care? Why does it bother you that I am not “the norm”? Fat is not a communicable disease and it cannot be caught like the common cold. So stop telling be how to be and how I should look and how I should feel. I don’t tell you to stop being thin so stop telling me to stop being fat.

Oh, and by the way, my dogs, NOT fat. They are healthy and a perfect weight. So does this mean I can be trusted with a child? Or will I make them fat too?


Jenera Healy said...

I totally agree with what you've posted! I've struggled with my weight my entire life. Right now I'm in the 6th month of my journey to lose weight and you can't even tell by looking at me. I get so mad when I get those same looks-whether at the gym, at the store, whatever. I eat healthy, I exercise, but I cannot lose the weight due to many medical issues. Apparently us bigger folks just don't matter in the grand scheme of things because we don't fit the norm. Even when I do lose the weight I want, I'll still be on the bigger end of the scale-but I'll be healthy and not look like a bobbleheaded freak.

Okay sorry, I went off a bit but I totally understand. It sucks. I at times just don't even know what to do when people are stupid these days.

Monica said...

AMEN, Sister!! Right there with you :)

rocket.queen. said...

I love you Tammy. I've seen friends and family struggle with this issue and it is heartbreaking. My mother works out every day and does her best to eat healthy and still gets the "fat label".

I've never discriminated based on anything an I won't let someone's size cause me to treat them differently either.

You are a beautiful strong LOVING woman and that is why I love you.

Wen782 said...

Sugar, I am a sh*t to everyone. As DH and I refer to one another, I'm essentially "an equal opportunity offender".

I'm "overweight" by every BMI calculator I can find and yeah, it's bothersome, but I'm not dyin' from it.

I'm no longer comfortable in my own skin. No longer can I just take a running jump and comfortably fluff myself into 5's. Hanging in the double digits, now, baby, and I'll tell you something... I had two ex's that, at 5'10" and 125 with the first and 135 with the second, they told me I was fat all the time. I'm 180 now. I know that at my height, it's not like I'm lumbering and having hard core physical issues, but my family is overrun with ailments that I don't want, and 90% are "morbidly obese" to the tune of 350 or more. That will not be helped if I keep up as I am, and I could end up like them, wheezing and crying and not living QUALITY. SO, it's MY CHOICE to try to eat healthier, to live better... and hey - that's just my deal.

Think of it this way...

To those who look at me in the junior section checking out the tops or the plus size section because maybe I am not quite seeming to YOU like I belong there (yet my A$$ disagrees) and like I might as well pull that second head back out of my butt? Kiss my happy a$$. Seriously. I can ALWAYS get lipo, but there is no cure for you being an insensitive MORON.

It's my BUTT and thighs that've grown into something resembling cottage cheesy goodness, my boobs have rebelled and "just said NO to growing".

You'd better not let me hear of you saying that you're not beautiful. I joke around about weight, and everything ELSE, because that's how I am.

You're beautiful.

I'd take 100 of you to one skinny bitch with no brain or personality.

Weight is not WORTH and you, my dear...? you rock.

JPSULLY said...

Found your blog by "accident" but am glad I did! I feel your pain on the "fat" part and the TTC part.

Not only am I one who is a big gal, but also have been ttc for 120 months.

Never give up hope! And NEVER let anyone make you feel like they are better than you based on size, income, or any other superficial BS!

Good luck to you! I hope you hold your bundle of joy in your arms soon!

Poltzie said...

I love checking your blog to see what is new with you. I was so excited today when I saw there was a new posting... until I read it!
I'm sorry that you have to endure others nasty looks and comments and I'm even more sorry that there are others who would make you feel bad about your weight.
You are right, it seems to be accepted to make fat comments or jokes and I for one will be sure to be much more sensitive from now on. Thank you for educating me and hopefully others will also read this and be inspired to be more sensitive.
Thank you for being brave enough to speak to this issue!
You will be a wonderful mom because you are brave and intelligent! Your children will be so lucky to have you.
Take care my friend!

Anonymous said...

Great Blog! I couldn't agree more...although I would like to add that "MEN" have a lot to do with the fat label and what is found attractive. I think that pisses me off more than anything...when women feel that they can't find a man who will accept them unconditionally 100%. I was lucky enough to have found one of the few out there.